Better Give Him a Call

I believe in God. I just been too busy. I know, all eyes are rolling. I was one of those people who is “too busy”. Too busy getting married, too busy having children, too busy arguing with my spouse, just too busy. It’s funny how life turns out. In one way or the other, God always find me back.

Sometimes, i think humans get too complacent. When life is great, we simply just enjoyed it. Without once thinking that maybe someone up there gave it to us. When life sucks, all eyes up to heaven, accusing.

I haven’t been to Church for a while. When I got married, my husband’s lifestyle somehow clashed with my church going. I was very much in love and I accepted his theory that Buddhism is better because it teaches peace by mediations. When our marriage started getting nasty, I started praying in temples, offering joss sticks and having strange monks meditating at our home to ward off “angry spirits”. It was only recently did I realise that it’s of no use for me to pray to Buddha if my heart does not believe in it.

I’m not saying that Buddhism is bad. What I’m saying is that in order for religion to give one peace, there must be faith in it. Because it will be that faith that will pull us through the bad times, it will be that faith that stop us from going astray. Because I didn’t have that faith, our marriage just got worse and I get more depressed.

As strange as life has it, one day, these two Christian elderly turned up at my doorstep. Usually I will shut the door to evangelism, but this time, I simply took the books they gave me. Maybe God was calling me, but on one of the books, it titled “How To Make Your Marriage Work for Christ”. Okay, Nicole, you had better go to church, He is hinting to me I have to.

But here is the real deal, I didn’t want to go to any church, I only wanted to go to the church I went to in University, Christian Life Centre. But it was too far for me to travel with 3 kids. As faith has it, I googled that I have a CLC within 5 minutes from my home! It was the very church which Sydney CLC originated from. It was pretty awesome and further confirmed my reason to attend it.

I went to Church with the 3 kids today. We went to the evening church as Janesa overslept and i didn’t want her to get cranky towards Sunday School. We have tons of fun. The girls did some great collage and Ariel has some great toys to play with. Most of all, they met some really good people and we felt a lot of love and acceptance. Something that we haven’t felt for a long time...

Rearranging Quirk

One of my quirks which is still unknown to my family is that I like to rearrange furniture. Everyone knows I like to paint rooms on a whim and has since now accepted the idea that our study room will always remain a bright tangerine orange. It sounds awful but I read that orange helps a person to stay alert and focus while working. What better place to “orange” than the study room? Doesn’t that sound more logical now?

It started as a thought. Gosh, this room needs a better use of space.

“Jeslyn and Janesa? What do you think if mommy move this couch over there?” I asked innocently.

“No.”

“But don’t you think it will be better if we move your play table here with all your toys? You will have more space to play?” I persisted.

“No.”

Unfazed by the lack of enthusiasm for my desire to make the play room “a better place”, I started pushing the couch with the girls sitting on it. Though the play room is not tiny, but it was still cluttered by huge plastic toys so I have to move those out of the way too. Then I have to drag the two huge ottomans towards the other end of the room. Clear up all the strewn toys on the floor. Vacuum and mopped. Finally, I pushed the couch towards the other end of the room.

Fed the girls lunch and finally sat down to inspect my design. Oh dear, it was too close to the TV. I didn’t realise that the location of the sliding door makes it impossible for me to move the couch further away from the television. “Don’t you think it’s too close to the TV?” I asked the girls rhetorically.

“No.” They muttered as they strained their neck to the side, trying to watch the Saturday cartoon.

Sighing, I started to push the couch again towards the back of the room to face the TV. But before I did that, I had to unplug the stereo, wound up all the loose wires and carry a 15 kg bass boom box away from the site. Huffing and puffing under the sheer weight of the box, I gestured the girls to move away from the couch with my head. Damn Nintendo, the girls stayed on the couch, unmoved. When I finally placed the couch at the back of the room, I have forgotten how long the couch was and it stuck slightly across the doorway, threatening to give someone a nasty hip bruise if they walk carelessly into the room.

“Here?” I asked again. Silent.

Too tired to move the couch again, i tried to rewire the stereo before my husband realised what i did. The last time i unplugged his wiring, he threw a fit. Guess what? The wiring was too short! There is no way I can replug the stereo unless i move it back where it was.

Three hours later, tired and defeated, I moved the couch back to EXACTLY where it once was. The girls were right afterall... sometimes it pays to listen to the voice of children.

Mouse Radar

I hate to admit this but my home is infested with mice. Yes. Before you shriek in horror, it’s mice. Not rats. I have no idea where they came from but they first appear about a few months ago and since then, i’ve been stuffing every nooks and crannies i can see and boarding up any source i can think of. Shower drainage, dishwasher pipes, cabinet holes, you name it, i have filled it up with some kind of plaster, tape or newspaper.

So terrified was I of mice that since then, I’ve developed a mouse radar. I can hear the scurrying of mice even when I’m not in the room and i can smell the presence of mice even if i didn’t see one.

Today, while my husband was teaching the twins their alphabets, I took the spare time to be a couch potato. I love So You Think You Can Dance and was quietly pleased that I did not have any toddlers bothering me for a few minutes. It was then I heard the sound.

“Hey? I think I heard a mouse. It is in the couch.” I reported to my husband.

Of course, ever the sceptic of the power of my mouse radar, he simply tossed the idea by saying that “mice do not keep near humans”.

Unsure if I was indignant that he didn’t believe me or if I was feeling reassured by his claim, I started tossing the cushions off the couch. A shadow. Darting. A mouse!

“AAAEEEEIIIIIIII!” I screamed as I threw the cushions into the air and hurdled towards the top of the dining table. Under my accusing stare, my husband made his way towards the couch, motioning me to find a “weapon”. Although I do wanted to dispose of the rodent, but I wasn’t prepared to contaminate my "stuff". I gave him an unwanted plastic soup ladle. “Can’t you get something bigger?” as he spotted the escaping mouse and tried to whack it with the tiny ladle. I gave him the toy broom.

Unafraid and curious, the twins started running towards the toy box and emptied it onto the floor. Laughing and throwing, they banged the floor with their wooden walker sticks. I have no idea if it was the fact that the mouse had ran away or the fact that my once tidy living room was now littered with a mountain of toys, but I was starting to feel queasy. Feeling sorry, my poor husband tried again in vain to find the mouse but to no avail.

Although, he didn’t “save” us from the rodent but he did vacuumed the floor and helped the kids pack up the room while I stood, eyes darting, on the kitchen chair. I need to get a mouse trap tomorrow. Pronto.

Tears for Fear

There has always been alot of tears in my family. My girls, especially the twins, love to cry. It’s not just the bad things that they cry about, they cry over EVERYTHING. At EVERY opportunity. EVERY day. It’s becoming quite a problem for me, since it’s getting really hard to calm them down when Ariel is becoming more and more clingy towards me. Sometimes, I must admit, I wish I can just simply just leave the house. No one told me motherhood is going to be so tough. I know it’s not an easy ride but this tough? Surely there must be something abnormal with my family? Crying, whining, fighting every day? This is ridiculous.

I wish I’m the calmest person in the family. Of course, I’m not. In fact, I have been battling a hyperactive thyroid for years now and it’s wrecking havoc on my emotions. In the past, everything brought me to tears. My husband not being available when I need him to. The twins fighting too much and not listening to me. Worrying I’m not attentive towards Ariel as compared to the twins. Worrying about the unattended housework. Guilty for not spending enough time educating the twins. Everything. I cry over everything.

When my twins were born, they were a nightmare. I spent 5 nights in the hospital with a caesarean cut, unable to lie down properly and getting up every 5 minutes because they cry so much. So much. I thought it’s normal for babies to cry at that time as they were my first born. But Ariel doesn’t cry at all when she was born. She slept the whole night away without even waking up to have a feed! I know all children are different. But now that my twins are bigger and more in control of their tears than when they are infants, their uncontrolled crying is a becoming kind of a worry.

My husband is starting to wonder if excessive crying is genetic. Har Har. If someone out there can tell me how to stop all these tears, please drop me a note.

Baby Learn Chinese

Yesterday, I was whinging that my girls seemed to have lost their “mother tongue” which is the Chinese language. Today, I received in my post 3 DVDs which I ordered from Asianparent.com. I am unsure if my girls will indeed learn Chinese from simply watching DVDs but was I surprised! The moment I put in the DVD, Ariel started clapping her hands to the piano music and was listening intently to the words repeated on the screen. You should have seen my face, I was exhilarated!

The first DVD I let the girls watch was called Baby Learn Chinese. It is kind of like watching Baby Einstein but in mandarin. My twins used to LOVE Baby Einstein and this is simply a different version which they did not seem to mind. The DVD was pretty useful as it taught the girls the basic body parts (which the older twins are recalling slowing) and showed colourful pictures and asian children talking in Mandarin. Unlike other DVDs which has poorly spoken English, the lady in this program has pretty good pronunciation of the English language. This sets my mind in peace as the girls will learn good Mandarin without learning bad English too.

All in all, I would say this is a great DVD and I will definitely get more when the girls start to master more words. I’m so proud of little Ariel as she patted her head when I asked her where is her “tou”?

Mom! What are you talking about!

I have been trying to get my kids to speak more Mandarin these days. When my mother was helping me babysit them last year, they used to speak Mandarin pretty often and hence, i never had to worry if the girls will lose their roots. This year my mother was unable to help me babysit anymore, I have hence been talking to them more often in English than in Mandarin. It’s really hard to cultivate a multi-lingual environment for the children. I used to think it should be easy since I’m pretty proficient in my Mandarin but in reality, it’s much harder than it looks.

First of all, I’m English educated so I speak English most of the time. Secondly, my husband doesn’t speak a word of Mandarin and only a smattering of Khmer which does not help much. Thirdly, all children programs in Australia are in English so that’s all they hear all day. And lastly, they are starting to form friendships now in preschool and of course, none of their friends know Mandarin. So, it’s beginning to seem like a much trickier task now that they are older. Both the girls prefer to blend into their English speaking groups than to seem left out by speaking a different language.

I remember there was once my second daughter, Jeslyn, looked at me strange when I was asking her something in Mandarin. “Mommy! Talk properly!” was her order. Gosh, I didn’t even use a difficult Mandarin phrase. I thought that she had forgotten what she had learnt when she was under my mother’s care, it was only recently did I realised that she “preferred” to speak English because “all my friends speak English.”

Now I finally understand why so many Asian parents in English speaking countries find it so difficult to teach their mother tongue to their children. I used to scoff at stories of children who doesn’t know a word of their native language and saw it as a failure on the part of the parents to teach them properly. Now, I’m one of those parents.

Sugar Blush

I think it’s great to be a grandparent. After so many years of not allowing themselves to spoil their own children, now that the children are parents themselves, it’s perfectly okay to spoil the children of their children. Who blames a grandparent when the child acts spoilt anyway? Save the blame for the parents, parents like me who try to quietly remind our parents and parents-in-law that no, it’s not okay for the children to eat too much ice cream.

I think as a parent, I cannot let my children go wild and eat only sweets. At some point, I must have some control. And further, it seems like I'd be doing them a great disservice in the long run if i do not implement proper eating habits. I did raise it to my husband but he is such a wet blanket. He pretends to ignore the issue and worse, he sometimes even do the exact opposite of what I planned! I can’t recall how many times I cringe when he declares “let’s go to the supermarket to get some food!” to the girls. Because i know the “food” he is getting is not the usual daily staples, it’s potato chips and coke and lollies. Talk about annoying!

At the moment, I’m having such a tough time trying to get proper food into my girls’ mouths. They seem to have developed an aversion to rice and noodles and meat and basically everything that means a proper meal. I have no idea why they are suddenly so picky with what they eat. When the twins were 2 years old, they are such ferocious eaters! And they like meat! Now, it’s “Mommy, can i have some sweet water instead?”

I wished someone has told me that once you introduce children to the world of the chocolate and gum drops, it’s sayonara to plain water and hello! to coca cola. I know it’s seemed like making a mountain out of a mole hill, but I’m starting to get really frustrated when i see my 1 year old drinking coke from a can given by an adult that should know better. Though I’m desperate, i am not planning to go as far as to ban the children from the grandparents. I don’t mind the spoiling since i don’t see them everyday and separation will only cause emotional damage to my daughters who love their grandparents very much. Grandparents may spoil them by all means but within limits with respect as to what we as parents will allow.

Korean Americans..Ooh La La

During my recent trip back home to Singapore, i went crazy and bought packs and packs of Korean movies and soap dramas. It wasn’t until the night of the departure did i got worried at my bulging luggage and the baggage weight limit. But luckily, we made it through the departure gates safely and without paying a fine. I was stoked!

Yesterday, i opened one of the many packs of Korean movie DVD and totally immersed myself among the cheesy plot and overdone dialogue in the movie Seducing Mr Perfect. As with all asian movies, sometimes it’s nice to just have some eye candy to watch. No offences to my athletic build husband, but the leading man was worth the 2 am bedtime. I think Asian Americans are finally taking over the Asian movies industry and Hollywood. As a secret between my readers and I, I guess now that I’m a married mother of 3 girls, it is my self-proclaimed right to perv on good looking guys at a distance.

The leading man is called Daniel Henny. He is half Korean and half American. I always have a soft spot for tall TALL guys and standing at 189 cm, he ticked all the right boxes for me. He looks alot like Dennis O’Neil, another Korean American but cooler and more distance looking. Alot of people say that asian americans are usually good looking. I beg to differ. I have seen some wierd combination but the really good ones often look abit more asian than caucasian, that's my opinion anyway.

Anyhow, google his name or Dennis name and you will see what I mean. Gosh, I feel like a teenybopper! Yum.

What's After "I Do"

Today, I watched a movie. Ira and Abby was the name and it is basically about these two people who met and fell in love within a span of a few hours. They got married in haste because they felt that this love was strong and true enough to make a commitment.

Both of them came from vastly different background. Life was pretty good for a well until Ira began to resent the differences between them. They basically got divorced then remarried again in weeks. All because Ira didn’t feel Abby love him truly. It was a really sweet movie which kind of reminded me of the recent ups of downs in our own marriage.

My husband and I got married within 3 months of dating each other. We didn’t really know each other as much as friends we know who dated for years before settling down. We fell pregnant quickly despite the numerous arguments we had during the first year of trying to live with another person. As parents of multiples and being quite young and inexperienced, it was a really stressful time for both of us. We had many nasty fights and yes, we did mention divorce.

This year was the same repeat of the first year we had. Juggling Ariel and the twins with a husband who works 18 hours a day 6 days a week, sometimes I feel lonely. With this loneliness comes insecurity and paranoia that I’m no longer attractive. Many of my friends said I should just go out and have fun with the kids even if my husband is not around. But ask any mothers with 3 under 5 years old toddlers, they would understand that the idea of dragging three dependant kids out shopping or to the markets can be a nightmare compared to staying in the safe boundaries of the 4 walls in our own homes. After all, at least when the kids act up, we can go to a room and hide. Haha.

Sometimes, I hope the kids grow up super fast so I don’t have to lug them everywhere I go. Yet sometimes, when I watched over them as they sleep at night, their sweet faces made me forget the mess they left downstairs with their crayons and water, the jigsaw puzzle they hide under the carpet and the half eaten bag of popcorn spilling over the couch. All children will grow up and leave the family one day... it’s much wiser to cherish these moments just as they are now. The jazz lounges and concerts at the Opera House will have to wait...

The Big Tent

The circus was in town! Yey! I must admit, I do still giggle with excitement with the idea of going to the circus. I love the animal acts, the tricks and the clowns. Lennon Brothers Circus is the oldest circus in Australia. As the Ringmaster proudly exclaimed, they have a history of over 140 years travelling in Australia as traditional circus company. There was no fancy techno lights or carefully orchestrated music, no fancy story lines and elaborate props. Just good ol’, down to earth, solid performance by one of the best circus actors in the country.

This was the first circus acts we brought the kids to. Both the twins have very short attention span and I’m impressed that they sat throughout the ENTIRE show without whining or fidgeting! It was a record! I’m quite sure they enjoyed it immensely by clapping in encouragement, laughing at the animals and gasping at the trapeze act. It was indeed a night to remember!

No Fun Being Sick

Ariel was the first to have fallen from my “hot potato” bug. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, do read my previous post below.

Gosh, it’s terrible when a baby gets sick! The first time i realised she was not feeling that well was when she practically threw up all over the car seat. Threw up was a poor description of the impact of her eruption. It was more of a gigantic spew! I have to pull over in the middle of the freeway, drag the poor screaming infant out of her soggy seat, asking her to stop flailing her vomit-soiled hands all over my woollen cardigan, placed her on the grassy sidewalk while her twin sisters tumbled out of the car trying to see if they should play nurse. I was hysterical as they both exited on the driver’s side of the car, open target to traffic. Imagine dragging two toddlers back to the car, fuming and covered with the lunch we just had and trying to wrestle with a crying baby, it was not. fun. at. all.

Jeslyn simply refused to get into the car as her child seat was partially covered with food slime. Janesa was saying she felt sick by the smell of the combination of soured milk and digested meat. I just want to get home before they both repeat what Ariel just did.

Sleeping Mermaid

We don’t think we will be trying for another baby anymore. Ariel is our third and we did wish for a little boy. I know alot of people out there sneered at this stone age wish to want to choose a gender for a baby, but what’s wrong with wanting a boy after having 2 most beautiful little girls? When Ariel was born, I cried for almost a full 2 weeks, I was disappointed and in denial after so many ultrasounds. I know my husband wished for a little boy to call our own and i can sensed the disappointment in him and felt a failure as mom.

Looking back, I can see what a terrible mother I was not to have immediate love for my own child. Maybe it’s this sense of feeling I owe her, or maybe she’s such a sweetie pie who never cry or whinge as a baby, or maybe because she is our last, but I’m cherishing each moment I have with her. Her little hands and feet. Her soft skin. Her smile. Her little baby jig. I wish I can remember them always..

As I put her to bed tonight, she was restless and preferred jumping than settling down. The dogs started barking outside. She stopped and propped her head on her pillow. Silent as she listened attentively. Wondering. Inquisitive. Then she quietly chanted along with the barks. Quietly. Slowly. Giggled. And fell asleep. Gosh.. I hope she would never grow up. I wish this moment would last forever. I’m so glad we have her...

Habitually Sick

What to know something strange? I fell sick today with no indication during the past few days I’m not feeling well. I managed to drag myself off the bed and got the girls ready for preschool. Ariel, always the peaceful contented one, seemed to have picked up my weak vibes and was teary and clingy. Jeslyn and Janesa was somehow incredibly quick with their dressing and packing. Sometimes, it’s good to have children, because when no one else know you are not feeling well, they will be first one to ask you “what’s wrong, mommy?” and shower you with hugs and kisses.

Secretly glad that I fell sick on the day the girls go to preschool (they only go twice a week), i was eager to get them out of the door so I can have a good rest. This year been really tough for the family. One after another, we seemed to pass around the “flu bug” like a game of Hot Potatoes. Counting this, I’ve been ill for the 6th time this year. Not being one that is superstitious, but my mother did mentioned once that my husband and I have really bad vibrations this year. This is according to a soothsayer in Singapore I have never seen or heard of. But I guess with life, one must take everything with a pinch of salt.

Upon my suggestive persuasion, my husband self-volunteered to drop Ariel off at his mother’s shop so I can have the day to rest before the Little Nuts come home. (Little Nuts was coined by Janesa, I’m still not sure why as her stories keep changing.) Despite the free rein to sleep and laze away for 4 hours straight, I was more worried about the floor being not vacuumed, the beds not made and the laundry not done etc. So I did all that until I managed to free some time for Oprah. Tom Cruise was on today, so I guess housework can wait...

My husband brought the kids back from the in-laws around dinner time. I’m a terrible cook. I know taste is subjective but I guess if I’m always the one who is asked to bring the drinks to potluck parties, I can base it as a fact and not an opinion. But I’m trying. My husband loves food. Not just regular food. But great exceptional cuisine. I do feel sorry for him sometimes when he would rather go out to dine than taste another one of my “trial” preparation. I can almost hear his head scream,” What the hell is that!?!?!” when he bravely opened one of the pots on the stove. Being too sick to feel annoyed and defensive, I told him that I didn’t cook any rice as I didn’t plan for him to come home for dinner. He nodded, out of relief and muttered that he’ll get some food outside later.

I brought Ariel up to bed. Our marriage has been anything but great lately and I’m glad he made the effort to come home early today. I guess that’s what family are for....

Monday is Mackers Day

The girls are exceptionally good today. Jeslyn and Janesa came back from preschool, each holding their little box of goodies.

3.15 p.m. every Monday is Happy Meal Hour. This is when I drive the girls to the golden arch for their weekly dose of “healthy” selections. Somehow, the only healthy option they choose is the 250ml bottled water, go figures. Janesa always have the cheeseburger while Jeslyn will always have the chicken nuggets. There is no compromise.

Their taste in food is as different as they are with their personalities. If they are not identical, no one would know they are twins. Sometimes, I will joke with my husband that I doubt the girls know they are twins either.

Conversation heard on our ride home,
Janesa: Mommy, i have no friends.
Me: What? Why? (trying to focus on the afterschool rush hour traffic)
Janesa: Today, Jeslyn and Joshua shouted at me in school. They are not my friends.
Me: Why did they shout at you?
Janesa: Because they don’t like me.
Me: I don’t think they don’t like you, Janesa. What did you do later?
Janesa: Isabella come and talk to me.
Me: Who is Isabella?
Janesa: She is my friend.