What's After "I Do"

Today, I watched a movie. Ira and Abby was the name and it is basically about these two people who met and fell in love within a span of a few hours. They got married in haste because they felt that this love was strong and true enough to make a commitment.

Both of them came from vastly different background. Life was pretty good for a well until Ira began to resent the differences between them. They basically got divorced then remarried again in weeks. All because Ira didn’t feel Abby love him truly. It was a really sweet movie which kind of reminded me of the recent ups of downs in our own marriage.

My husband and I got married within 3 months of dating each other. We didn’t really know each other as much as friends we know who dated for years before settling down. We fell pregnant quickly despite the numerous arguments we had during the first year of trying to live with another person. As parents of multiples and being quite young and inexperienced, it was a really stressful time for both of us. We had many nasty fights and yes, we did mention divorce.

This year was the same repeat of the first year we had. Juggling Ariel and the twins with a husband who works 18 hours a day 6 days a week, sometimes I feel lonely. With this loneliness comes insecurity and paranoia that I’m no longer attractive. Many of my friends said I should just go out and have fun with the kids even if my husband is not around. But ask any mothers with 3 under 5 years old toddlers, they would understand that the idea of dragging three dependant kids out shopping or to the markets can be a nightmare compared to staying in the safe boundaries of the 4 walls in our own homes. After all, at least when the kids act up, we can go to a room and hide. Haha.

Sometimes, I hope the kids grow up super fast so I don’t have to lug them everywhere I go. Yet sometimes, when I watched over them as they sleep at night, their sweet faces made me forget the mess they left downstairs with their crayons and water, the jigsaw puzzle they hide under the carpet and the half eaten bag of popcorn spilling over the couch. All children will grow up and leave the family one day... it’s much wiser to cherish these moments just as they are now. The jazz lounges and concerts at the Opera House will have to wait...