Sleeping Mermaid

We don’t think we will be trying for another baby anymore. Ariel is our third and we did wish for a little boy. I know alot of people out there sneered at this stone age wish to want to choose a gender for a baby, but what’s wrong with wanting a boy after having 2 most beautiful little girls? When Ariel was born, I cried for almost a full 2 weeks, I was disappointed and in denial after so many ultrasounds. I know my husband wished for a little boy to call our own and i can sensed the disappointment in him and felt a failure as mom.

Looking back, I can see what a terrible mother I was not to have immediate love for my own child. Maybe it’s this sense of feeling I owe her, or maybe she’s such a sweetie pie who never cry or whinge as a baby, or maybe because she is our last, but I’m cherishing each moment I have with her. Her little hands and feet. Her soft skin. Her smile. Her little baby jig. I wish I can remember them always..

As I put her to bed tonight, she was restless and preferred jumping than settling down. The dogs started barking outside. She stopped and propped her head on her pillow. Silent as she listened attentively. Wondering. Inquisitive. Then she quietly chanted along with the barks. Quietly. Slowly. Giggled. And fell asleep. Gosh.. I hope she would never grow up. I wish this moment would last forever. I’m so glad we have her...